Monday, December 1, 2014

Fixing

I used to think I could fix things.  No more.

Through years of trying, I have learned that I never have quite enough of a grasp of the big picture to fix things up.  There always seem to be pieces of the puzzle that are not on the table for me.  When I presumed that I was the one to fix things it seemed to give others the permission to "stand down" and happily let me slave away at the fixing.   Other times, when I imposed my fixing propensities on a situation (or person), others felt diminished; they resented my arrogance and/or imposition.  Almost always, my inclinations to be a fixer triggered from me directives, mandates, mind-numbing procedures, ultimatums, and healthy doses of ill will.

The result?  I never seemed to fix what I deemed to be fix-worthy things (or people).

It's taken a good long while, but finally I see that my job is not to be the fixer.  My job is to engage with others, assess our level of progress, discuss what a better future might look like, then work together toward that end.

It's not so much about fixing what (or who) is broken as it is about positing a better future and seizing the opportunities to achieve it.

Are things (and people) still broken?  Sure.  There will always be broken stuff (and people).  

Our energy is best used, however, to create the conditions in which WE can make it better.  In the case of people, it's about creating the conditions in which they can see and make a better future for themselves.

That work is just as hard, but not nearly as frustrating....... as thinking we can "fix it."

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