TradeTools

Folks who work in the trades have many kinds of tools at their disposal. Some of the tools are quite pointy and/or extremely sharp. Scalpels used by surgeons and picks used by jewelers come to mind. On the other hand, some tools have wide reach and are, by design, not all that sharp. The blade of a grader tractor or that of a "mudder" who works sealing sheetrock are examples, designed fill rather than dice.

Similar tools are available to those of us who ply our trade in the arena of social interaction. Sometimes our words and actions require precision and sharpness. At other times, they call for us to be smoothing rather than cutting or whittling.

Just as artisans in the physical trades, those in the professions of human interaction are wise to have all kinds of tools in our tool chest.

Even more important is knowing when to use those varying kinds of tools for optimal outcomes and peak performance.

TuffTalks

The most effective leaders I know are adept at having honest but tough conversations. They talk skillfully about difficult issues with team members and stakeholders, but manage to do so without alienating, demeaning, or disparaging the other.

As I watch these exceptional leaders communicate around challenging issues, here are some of the things I hear and see from them:

• They forecast thoroughly how the exchange might flow ahead of time, so that they are prepared to flex, respond, and steer the conversation as needed.
• They refuse to let the tough conversations become personal. The discourse remains constantly on the problem at hand, not the people dealing with it.
• They strive mightily to keep anger at bay, temperatures low, blood pressure down, knowing that all three marginalize the prospects for rational thought and productive solutions.
• They rarely, if ever, use the word "BUT," tending always toward the use of "AND" instead.
• They continually keep conversations forward focused, refusing to descend into blaming and recrimination. The future is their interest, not the past.
• They keep doors open, insist on transparency, and strive always to build bridges instead of walls.
• They use questions instead of demands/directives in marshaling the direction of difficult conversations. 

We can learn much from these folks..............about crafting better futures through effective dialogue.

HardCorners

The hard corners we see in life are almost always the constructions of man. The 90 degree angles of a square or rectangle, the sharp lines of skyscrapers, the surveyed boundaries of lots/acres/sections, and the rigid laws/rules we craft seem owned solely by the hand of humans.

God and Nature, however, prefer chiseling off the sharp corners. In nature on the Earth and in the universe beyond we see mostly rounded edges, scant straight lines, and precious few hard angles.

We might be wise to consider softening our corners -- in buildings, in boundaries, in relationships. Especially so if we put it into the context that God and Nature were here before we arrived, and they'll be here long after we've left.

LeaningInto

Leaning into betterness requires introspection and reflection. Both of those processes are facilitated by asking some questions that need substantive answers from us:

What am I doing?

Why am I doing it?

Should I keep dedicating time/effort/resources to doing it?

If so, how might I do it better?

Works for our improvement as individuals. Works for our improvement as organizations.

BUT, only if we do it with fidelity, and a commitment to make any changes that our answers compel.

DEpowered

Team members work most energetically when they feel empowered. Oddly, some folks in leadership end up squelching that energy and enthusiasm (often not intentionally, but it occurs nonetheless).

How do leaders sometimes throw cold water on the vibrant and robust performance of a team?

• TALK, TAlk, Talk, talk, talk, talk, ...
• Exclude team members from conversations/decisions that have direct bearing on them.
• Make team members feel devalued.
• "Hide" from the team, by sequestering in the office, by being "too busy to talk," per a too cluttered calendar.

Leadership is a relational endeavor. Team member empowerment is directly related to our relational skills as leaders.

We can get better at it. Every day. On purpose.

LEARN UP!

DisapprovalSquelching

Disapproval of new ideas/approaches/products comes in all sorts of packaging:

•  "It cost too much."
• "We don't do it that way."
• "It's not in our strategic plan."
• Someone's job might be imperiled.
• "It's too risky."
• "That's not our wheelhouse."
• Workload or workflow might need to be changed.

We can either fold to the naysayers OR quietly and methodically build consensus among those willing to think differently. 

BE(come)

We often focus on what we want/need to get done. Personal and organizational strategies perseverate on the things we aspire to do, to accomplish -- goals, action steps, operational rules, etc. 

The wisest people and best organizations I study, however, focus instead on what they want to BE. Their ontological intent -- their aspiration for ways of being -- drives their subsequent steps/actions/strategies. Not the other way around. 

There are a lot of worthy ways of BEing: 

    Kind

        Generous

            Forgiving

                Intentional

                    Service-oriented

                        Trusting,... 

We can pick from a long and healthy list.

First, however, we must choose... Thereafter, growing ourselves toward that BEingness is the excellent and noble work of a worthy life.