Habitually getting angry at people/circumstances/customers/bosses defines us as an angry person.
Habitually expressing gratitude defines us as a grateful person.
Habitually serving others (from acts as small as opening a door for someone to those as consequential as spending our vacation teaching sustainable gardening to those in poverty) defines us as servants.
The good news is that we can change who we are by changing what we do (i.e., our habits).
1) How do others define us?
(Or, stated another way - What do others expect from us based on their observations of us?)
2) Who do we want to be?
(Or, stated another way - What habits must we abandon and/or adopt in order to become who we want to be?)
Quite doable, really. We don't have to get permission, and we can begin whenever we're ready.