Pre-Suasion

I recently read Pre-Suasion:  A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade by Robert Cialdini (2016).

RC follows up on his initial blockbuster, Influence (2006), by taking a measured and empirical look at how those of us in the business of influencing others can effectively "set the stage" for acceptance of our message.

My biggest takeaways:

• Trust is the precursor of influence.
• Six powerful tools of influence:  reciprocation, liking, social proof, authority, scarcity, and consistency.
• The focusing of attention is critical to influencing thought and/or action.
• Making a personal/emotional connection to the content is a powerful attractor of attention.
• Closing the discussion before closure causes cognitive revisitation later.
• Rhyme and music are powerful psychological connectors to content.
• Establishing habits around desired outcomes is imperative to sustaining change.
• Fostering a sense of kinship/unity heightens the potency of influence.
• Three ravagers of organizational health:  poor employee performance, high turnover, and prevalent employee fraud and malfeasance.

My favorite quote:
“Dale Carnegie assured us, ‘You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.’” (p.  92)

An excellent read - one of the best I've read in several years.   Thanks for the recommendation, DP.

Leaning

Leaning ON that which we already know and understand is a good thing.  Leveraging the knowledge, the experiences, the skills we have acquired helps us to function more fully and more effectively.   But only if we activate that leaning with intent.  Otherwise, that knowledge, those experiences, those skills are useless to us.

Leaning INTO that which we do not know, have not experienced, or cannot yet do is just as powerful a concept.  Pushing into new knowledge, unfamiliar experiences, novel skills stretches us in myriad ways.  And, it makes us healthier and wholer (oops, another new word).  

There is little difference in the words "leaning" and "leaRning" - just an R's difference.  However, both are critical to our getting better, doing better, being better.

R we?

Passion

Most of us feel passionate about something.  Maybe it's a hobby, maybe it's our faith, maybe it's our work.  Some of us even manage to be passionate about more than one thing.

How do we know when we have passion for something?

• We think about the passion-interest continually, fluidly, persistently.
• We really WANT to be successful in that endeavor (whatever it is).
• We easily get lost in the pursuit, often completely losing track of time.
• We have an intense desire to connect with others who share the same passion.
• We dig and dig to learn more and get better in that field of interest. 
• We talk or write about our passion-interest all the time, eager to share what we've learned.
• We are energized by the passion-interest, despite spending so much energy on it.
• We feel attracted to it rather than pushed to it (it's as if it is our magnet).
• We experience a deep sense of purpose while engaged in our passion-interest.

Passion is a critical component in our being able to feel fully self-actualized.  

Found yours yet?

Discomforted

Being discomforted is, well, uncomfortable.  We, as individuals and organizations generally prefer comfort over discomfort.  

Yet, those windows of time in which we are feeling acute discomfort are often the times we experience the greatest growth - when trying to learn physics, or when training for that half marathon, or when interviewing for that coveted job, or when pressing to complete that major project.  It seems those times of heightened cortisol and adrenalin levels (i.e., discomfort) are the precursors of significant changes/epiphanies/accomplishments.

When judiciously applied, discomfort can push us to new levels of thinking and new levels of performance.  

How can we strategically introduce a bit of discomfort?

• Push ourselves, or our organization, to learn something new.  Invest heavily in new learning - from our competitors, from our customers, from those in completely different fields of endeavor.
• Allow and promote risk taking.  And model it.  Try on new assignments or projects.  Assign the same to others.  Cross train within the organization.
• Open the door to visitors.  Be transparent, open the skeletal closets, then ask those visitors about what they saw/felt/heard/smelled.  Process that feedback carefully.
• Make principle-centered behavior the standard.  Not profit, not prestige, not protectionism.  Be willing to take losses by standing on principle.  And, protect others who do the same.

To be sure, comfort is easier.  But, on the other side of discomfort is our best chance for excellence. 

Curious

The most interesting people I know are curious people.  They're also really smart people.

The correlation between curiosity and smartness may not be causal.  But then again, it may.

Those curious-smart people always seem to have an interesting question in mind, and on their lips.  Even regarding some of the most mundane subjects/issues, these curious-smart people seem to be searching for a deeper understanding of how things work and how they might be improved upon.

Another attribute of those curious-smart people is that they rarely cast themselves as "smart."  They assume they don't yet know enough, and perhaps, could even be wrong in their current thinking/understanding.

I/You/We also know the opposite kinds of characters - the know-it-alls, the dogmatic, the condescending, the non-curious.

Hunger for new learning, and an openness to the possibility of being found to be wrong, seem to be antecedents for real growth.  Curiously.  

Words

Some folks I know (often those in leadership positions) are particularly adept at using words for nefarious ends.  They skillfully use words to create ambiguity, hide the truth, blatantly deceive, inflict hurt, deflate, foster distrust, divert blame, divide, avoid responsibility, and intimidate.

Another group of folks I know (fewer of this kind, unfortunately) use words to authentically praise, to lift others up, to add clarity, to heal, to unify, to energize, to comfort, and to express love/care.

I tend to appreciate, and gravitate toward, the latter group most often.  They just make me feel better - about life, about the future, about me.

The words we use directly reflect the choices we have made about spirit and mindset.

(em)Powered

Most of us prefer to work in a state of empowerment.  Some organizations (and leaders) embed empowerment within the culture.  How?  Through...

• A clearly stated vision of "where we're going."
• Persistently sharing successes AND losses between/among team members.
• Affording the safety to take risks.
• Refusal to burden the team with layers of permission requirements.
• Pervasive transparency - in communications, in intent, in support systems, in diagnostics.
• Ensuring legitimate "voice" to ALL stakeholders.
• Minimization of rules and minutiae (a.k.a. bureaucracy).
• Consistent support publicly for work well done (and private reprimands for otherwise).
• Relentless commitment to development, growth, and learning.

While it's great fun to be a part of such environments, the question begs:  What are we doing (as leaders) to create those very conditions?

The quality of the team and it's results is directly proportional to it.  

There is great power in empowerment.