Imposter

I seem to be living the life of an imposter.

In living the Christian faith, I've never felt like I was quite getting it right.  So, I attempted to learn more about discipleship from writings, audios, videos, and exemplary others, so that I would be "faking it" less and "getting it right" more of the time.  Each day makes me feel a bit less the imposter, but I'm not quite there yet.

In serving in leadership roles in various settings, I've never felt like I was quite getting it right.  So, I attempted to learn more about leadership from writings, audios, videos, and exemplary others, so that I would be "faking it" less and "getting it right" more of the time.  Each day makes me feel a bit less the imposter, but I'm not quite there yet.

In being a father, son, husband, brother, grandfather, and friend, I've never felt like I was quite getting it right.  So, I attempted to learn more about relationship management from writings, audios, videos, and exemplary others, so that I would be "faking it" less and "getting it right" more of the time.  Each day makes me feel a bit less the imposter, but I'm not quite there yet.

In serving as teacher, coach, principal, superintendent, and professor, I've never felt like I was quite getting it right.  So, I attempted to learn more about teaching and learning from writings, audios, videos, and exemplary others, so that I would be "faking it" less and "getting it right" more of the time.  Each day makes me feel a bit less the imposter, but I'm not quite there yet.

In being a responsible steward of the planet, I've never felt like I was quite getting it right.  So, I attempted to learn more about nature and systems from writings, audios, videos, and exemplary others, so that I would be "faking it" less and "getting it right" more of the time.  Each day makes me feel a bit less the imposter, but I'm not quite there yet.

It seems the only path out of the quagmire of impostership is more learning.  

Here goes...  (Please forgive me as I continue to fake it for awhile.)
  

WorthyModels

Some of the folks I most admire do these kinds of things:

• Treat waiters/waitresses with extreme kindness.
• Don't take phone calls when they're talking to someone in person.
• Open doors for others.
• Smile at and speak to children.
• Never cut line.
• Help clean up the kitchen after meals.
• Tip generously.

Notice that each of those examples indicates deference to or service to others.  

It's the little things that make the biggest difference.

ForwardView

Continuous improvement is a process by which we stay focused on the future, with only intermittent and brief backward looks.  Effort, energy and attention are primarily focused on the future, on getting better, everyday, somehow, on purpose.

It's a little like driving a car and keeping most of our attention on what's in front of us.  Of course, we take backward looks (via mirrors, please) to briefly and intermittently see what is behind us that might inform our next steps.  But, the broad view through the windshield is where attention is rightly focused.  That view helps us determine speed, direction, evasive action, acceleration, braking, course alteration, etc.

In the case of continuous improvement the brief backward looks are represented by data analysis, by after action reports, by rituals/celebrations.  None should take huge amounts of time - just enough to inform our next steps.  We must keep our attention primarily on the road ahead. 

It helps also to know where it is we want to go.  Skillful leaders help us envision those destinations.

ReinventingTheBody,ResurrectingTheSoul

I recently read Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul by Deepak Chopra (2009).

As DP almost always does, he pushed my thinking and challenged my assumptions.  Few authors/speakers so consistently pull me into new and different levels of understanding.

The big ideas of the book, which DP calls "breakthroughs," are in relation to physical wellness here:

1. Our physical bodies are fiction, more verb than noun.
2. Our bodies are conduits of energy.
3. Heightened awareness will put us in greater tune to the needs/health of our bodies.
4. We don't control our genes, but we have great power to determine which ones are turned on and which ones are turned off. Awareness is the vehicle of that power.
5. Time is our ally, not our enemy (but it's up to us to view it as such).

And soul health here:

1. Being more in touch with our soul (the link between us and God) is liberating, not constraining.
2. Love, given and expressed freely, awakens our soul.
3. Our soul is boundless, unless we constrain or restrict it (which we often do).
4. Grace is the freeing byproduct of our surrender to awareness.
5. We are fully the universe and the universe is fully us.

Those breakthroughs succinctly capture my takeaways from the book, though its density defies thumbnailing.

My favorite quotes from the book:

"You will know that you are responding from the soul level whenever you do the following: 
Accept the experience that’s in front of you. 
Approve of other people and yourself. 
Cooperate with the solution at hand. 
Detach yourself from negative influences. 
Remain calm in the face of stress. 
Forgive those who offend or wrong you. 
Approach the situation selflessly, with fairness to all. 
Exert a peaceful influence. 
Take a nonjudgmental attitude, making no one else feel wrong." (p. 182)

and

"The difference between a prisoner captive in his cell and you or me is that we have voluntarily chosen to live inside our boundaries." (p. 193)

I'll keep reading DP because it's like fartlek training for the brain.

WellLived

Memorial Day is when we pause to reflect on the lives and sacrifice made by those who died in service to our country.

Oft quoted in relation to the day are the words of Jesus:  "Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."  (John 15:13).

We usually consider those words written in red with the assumption that it is only in dying for others that love achieves its supremeness.

I'm not so sure.  Consider the meaning, the power, and the beauty of laying one's life down for others in both life and death.  That, in fact, seems to me the very model of the Christ-life.

A life lived completely in service to others is a life well lived.

Hide-N-Seek

Hide-n-Seek is a great game.  For kids.

Not so much leaders.  Hiding from problems, dodging tough calls, avoiding accountability is a fools game that many in leadership try to play.  But they'll be found (out), sooner of later.

Servant leaders operate in broad daylight, out in the open.  
They do so by:

• Being fully transparent.
• Communicating the same message, pervasively, to all stakeholder groups.
• Confronting threats to organizational well-being honestly, openly, expeditiously.
• Having high expectations - first for themselves, then for everyone else.
• Taking the risk of giving autonomy to others to "get the job done."
• Minimizing the insulating layers between themselves and the customer, and between themselves and the folks who are "getting the job done."
• Staying centered on values, rather than policies/procedures/protocols.
• Treating the have-nots and the have-it-alls with the same level of respect.

Ready or not,...

Questions?

It happens frequently in my service as a mentor to school leaders.  They seek my help in dealing with a sticky situation, hoping that I may have a quick solution or a magic elixir.  As much as I would love to play the role of Merlin, I simply haven't developed those skills (yet).

But, my advice (and my modeling) to these help seekers always starts this way:  
Begin by asking questions.  And, ask those questions from a truly curious perspective.

Some dos of asking questions:

• Start with question stems like "What..." and "How..."
• Be fully present and attentive when asking. Ask, look, pause, listen.
• Use words or phrases you hear in their responses in your next questions.
• Counter feelings of anger/aggression with increased curiosity and openness.
• Nest all questions in a mindset of continuous improvement.
• Always thank others for helping you get a better grasp of the issue through their time, their input, and their thinking (whether you like what you heard from them or not).

Some don'ts of asking questions:

• Don't interrogate; gently inquire.
• Don't use "Why..." as the question stem.  (It sounds and feels judgmental.)
• Don't immediately jump to conclusions, start issuing directives, or make up new rules.
• Avoid divining solutions until you've asked several questions of several people.

Some benefits of asking questions:

• The better questioner you become, the better listener you'll become.
• Relational capital is directly proportional to curiosity prowess.
• Problems tend to house their own solutions, but only when we reflectively and collaboratively begin to dissect them.  Questions are the lab tools of dissection.
• Others almost always feel more valued when (honestly) asked for feedback, input, perspective, ideas, thinking. 
• Getting smarter is a by product of asking good questions.

Some sample questions:

• What do I need to know before tackling this problem?
• Who else should I talk to that can help me gain deeper insight into this issue?
• How might we proceed without creating additional burdens on others?
• What might I hear from Bob/Betty/So&So when I ask about this?
• What should I be asking that I haven't yet?
• What questions do you have for me?