Starting

Starting is always the hardest part.

Whether you're starting a...

• new job
• diet
• family
• garden
• fitness plan
• business

it's the beginning that's most challenging. 

One of the reasons that starting is so hard is that we intuitively understand that in order to get off to a "good start" a lot of thinking should occur.  Thinking about what we want, why we want it, what we hope to accomplish, how we might manage the outcomes, what happens after we actually get started, etc.

That thinking-about-it component is the reason a lot folks stay un-started.  It's easier NOT to start, because the thinking and the starting are so stinking hard.  "Stuck" just feels easier and safer.

But, the fun is in the learning and the learning is triggered when we get off the starting line.

Time to get started.

BadStuff

Bad stuff is gonna happen.  Bad stuff is completely impersonal.  Bad stuff doesn’t discriminate.  It happens to all of us.

Life is not so much about avoiding bad stuff as it is about learning from it.  Our experiences and what we learn from them are the things that ultimately define our lives.  Our experiences (with family, with friends, with antagonists, with events) cause automatic neural mapping to occur in our brains; we call it memory.

Via our memory, we should reflect on the experiences and digest the learning we gain from them.  That learning is what prepares us to handle the next experience with even more skill/grace, which means handling the next round of bad stuff that comes our way a little better, too.

I've heard it said that good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement. (Numerous folks have been attributed with articulating that wisdom.)

Life isn’t fair, but it doses out a good bit of bad stuff to all of us.  What we learn from it and how we handle it the next time around is what makes the difference.

Forgiving

Forgiveness is often thought of as an act of grace, of overlooking the faults/offenses/sins of another, of wiping the slate clean and starting over from “now.”

Perhaps it’s a little bit of all of those things.  

Forgiveness is usually thought of in terms of what it affords the receiver.  Yet, some of the most beneficial effects of forgiveness are granted to the forgiver, not the forgivee.

Once we choose to forgive others, we are better able to forgive ourselves (and who doesn’t need a healthy dose of that?).  Forgiving others begins the process of freeing ourselves from some pretty unsavory burdens - like resentment, bitterness, even hatred.  Forgiving others offers us a fresh start from “now” just as much as it offers the forgivees that opportunity for do overs.

Yes, we can be wary.  

Yes, we can hold others accountable.  

Yes, we can protect ourselves from repeated abuses.  

But we can also liberate ourselves on many levels by not ingesting the lengthy menu of toxins associated with the unwillingness to forgive.

Distractions

Distractions...
> Divert our attention.
> Suck our energy.
> Waste our time.
> Create disharmony.

They can spring from...
> External events/people.
> Poorly structured environments.
> Weak or devious team members.
> Misaligned metrics and incentives.

A fundamental job of leaders (whether they be moms, teachers, coaches, or bosses) is to minimize and/or eliminate distractions.  

How?
By being perfectly clear about...
> Vision, mission, goals, objectives (too many of these are a distraction in itself).
> Praising and supporting acts aligned to those guiding elements.
> Noticing and candidly calling out acts that don't.
> Permanently removing persistent distractors.

Can't and won't happen if the leaders are sissies, unfocused, unclear, or ... distracted.

DirtyHands

Whether we're talking about gardening, building relationships, learning to play a musical instrument, or writing an essay, we've gotta "get our hands dirty" to fully appreciate and accomplish meaningful work.

By getting involved in the work ourselves we get to experience the contexts, the challenges, likeminded others, the tools/skills needed, the nuances, the shortcuts, the sweat, the tears, the failures, and, ultimately, the successes.

Of course, we can "outsource" the work (i.e., pass it off to others).  When we do, we have robbed ourselves of the self-actualization and the self-satisfaction that comes with tackling important work and "getting it done."

The magic happens when we get our hands dirty.

FoodSanity(12.0)

Frankenfoods.  What are they?

They look sorta like food.
They taste sorta like food.
They smell sorta like food.
They cook up sorta like food.

Yet, at the end of the day, what they do to our bodies is pretty scary.  Frankenfoods are engineered fabrications of food.  They're food-like substances, lacking the nutrition of real foods.  They're sterile, lifeless, processed, chemical-doused impersonations of food.

Frankenfoods are not what our bodies want and need for vitality.

What then should we eat?  Food that is minimally touched by humans.  Food that is grown and harvested naturally.  Food that is grown in or eating from healthy soil, not from applied chemicals.

Need a good starting place?  Dr. Mercola's Beginner Nutrition Plan is a nice primer.

Competence

Most of us want to feel competent. Competent in our work, competent in our relationships, competent in our hobbies and passionate pursuits.  

But, how do we gain competence?  How do we get to that place where we know what we're doing, understand good ways to accomplish those endeavors, are respected in our management of those pursuits?

Competence springs from a web of entangled variables:

• Learning we achieve through reading, listening, and engaging with knowledgeable others.
• Practice, practice, practice at using the talents and attributes with which we have been blessed.
• Skills developed purposefully through disciplined growth.
• Wisdom gained through reflection on experiences (the experiences are rather worthless unless we learn something from them).
• Insight acquired through stretching our own limits, with the associated successes and failures (no pain, no gain, no competence).

Competence is NOT derived from titles or money or privilege.  It cannot be bought.  It cannot be faked.  Competence cannot be conferred on one.  It has to be earned, and no one else can earn it for us.

Finally, competence is not an end in itself.  No matter how "good" we get at doing stuff, knowing stuff, applying processes, the competence only has real value when we're using it in service to others.  Otherwise, we are only competent narcissists.