I recently read Sizing People Up: A Veteran FBI Agent’s User Manual for Behavior Predictionby Robin Dreeke and Cameron Stauth (2020).
My top takeaways include:
· Behavior Prediction Sign #1: Vesting – Creating symbiotic linkage of mutual success.
· Behavior Prediction Sign #2: Longevity – Believing your bond will last.
· Behavior Prediction Sign #3: Reliability – Demonstrating competence and diligence.
· Behavior Prediction Sign #4: Actions – Displaying consistent patterns of positive behaviors.
· Behavior Prediction Sign #5: Language – Creating connections with masterful communication.
· Behavior Prediction Sign #6: Stability – Transcending conflict with emotional accord.
· Trust should be viewed as predictability, not morality.
· 5 HACKS TO ACCELERATE THE TEMPO OF A RELATIONSHIP: 1. Intensify the experience. 2. Ritualize the relationship. 3. Begin at the end. 4. Demonstrate people’s value. 5. Decode the “Code of Trust.”
· How to apply the “Code of Trust”: 1. Suspend your ego. 2. Validate people. 3. Don’t judge people. 4. Be reasonable. 5. Be generous.
· The truest measure of love is not how you feel, but what you do.
· Exemplary communicators don’t “win arguments;” they listen intently and completely.
My favorite quotes:
“Trust creates a state of calm and creativity, animates everyone involved, and unites entire nations. It sits at the top of the human hierarchy of positive actions, because it is the action-equivalent of love—and often exists in combination with love.” (p. 11)
“The content was excellent, because the absolute essence of great communication is to focus on the other person, instead of yourself. ” (p. 170).
“Love is the pure essence of the quiet mind, and fear is the constant cold shriek of the noisy mind.” (p. 214)
This one is an excellent, and contained numerous very nice literary morsels (somewhat unexpected from an ex-Marine and ex-FBI agent).